Being valuable is greater than being successful

EDITORIAL NOTE:  I’m moving some of my old posts from another blog to this one…so even though these may look new, some of the information or references will be dated.  Still, I hope the overriding thoughts behind the posts are timeless.  This one was originally posted on February 12, 2013–

My wife is very good about leaving the rest of the family little sources of inspiration and motivation around the house.  She is the all-time biggest positive thinker that I have ever been around.  She is also a person of great faith in God.  She is always seeking to be a positive influence in the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.

She’s the anti-me.

Recently, she posted up this nugget of a quotation on one of our bathroom mirrors…I think primarily for the benefit of our kids.  A few months back, we were both impacted positively by a Bible study from Tim Kimmel that exposed the myth of pushing our children toward the ‘Success’ lie — i.e. your worth as a person is determined by your personal level of ‘success’.

So, we’ve both focused on making sure that we instead steer our kids toward endeavors that will be valuable  in life, even at the expense of what our culture would consider successful.

So, I assume this reminder was meant primarily for them.

Still, it has resonated with me and has become my latest obsession — to pursue things of value instead of what might be construed as things that appear to show success.

Success can be measured in popularity, money, possessions and any number of material ways.  Value is harder to determine and often not realized until it’s too late.

We never appreciate the value of a comfortable pair of shoes until they’ve worn out and we have to break in a new pair.  We sometimes never fully appreciate the value of a work associate or personal mate until they have moved on to another phase of their lives and left a void in ours.

And, determining what is valuable is sometimes hard to do, especially when the goal is to be valuable to other people around you.  What if the things you think would be valuable aren’t of any value to them?  What if there are some things with absolute value, whether the true value is understood or not?

Striving to be valuable isn’t as easy as Old Al might make it sound.

But I am bound and determined to focus on doing things that are valuable.  Whether the value is eternal or just for a fleeting period of time.  Whether the value is determined in meeting an immediate need or taking care of a permanent one. 

I want to model that to my kids…and I think in some ways I do. But I also think that I need to do a better job of setting that example for them in every aspect of life. 

There’s a term related to accounting and finance called ‘imputed value‘.  It can be complicated in the world of finance but it is basically the value of something for which a true value cannot be derived simply by adding the sum of all the known parts.  

For my application, it is the value of something to someone in a given circumstance, often determined by answering the question, “What’s it worth to you?”

Many of the endeavors I pursue don’t have a hard-and-fast value.  So, often I need to ask the question — of others and myself — what is this worth?  

I have determined I haven’t asked this question enough of others.  I feel like I know what value I attach to the things I do.  But I really come up short in getting others to tell me how valuable those things are to them.  And when I don’t force them to state the value, I generally find out there is either no value at all to them…OR, they take the value for granted.

I’ve been pretty successful at accomplishing several of my goals.  I haven’t been very good at all about determining how valuable that success has been.

Gotta work on that.