When the Ache Becomes Normal

On Toothaches, Procrastination, and Pain We Shouldn’t Carry

By LONNIE KING

Last Wednesday morning at 11 a.m., I finally had my lower right wisdom tooth—number 32—pulled.

Not exactly the stuff of legend, I know. People get wisdom teeth removed every day. I didn’t expect a parade. I didn’t even ask for a sticker. However, I did get a pat on the head and a lollipop for being a very good boy during the process.

But what makes this one stick in my head—besides the gaping hole it left—is how long I lived with the pain and how much I tried to convince myself it wasn’t a big deal.

Back in January, during a routine dental check-up, my dentist spotted a deep cavity in that lower-right wisdom tooth—No. 32, for those of you who keep track of tooth numbers like some people collect baseball cards. (I see you. And honestly, I respect the commitment.)

Since I’d lost the neighboring tooth, No. 31, back in my broke-twenty-something-no-insurance years, this wisdom tooth had quietly become my main chewing molar. The MVP of chewing on that side.

So, instead of just yanking it, my dentist wanted to save it—keep it in the rotation. Only problem? The root canal would be tricky. Out of his league.

He referred me to a specialist.

Procrastination Meets Painkillers

Now, if this were a health success story, I’d tell you how I went straight to the endodontist, got the work done, and came out smiling like a toothpaste model.

(Oh, and there would probably be no blog post about it either. I rarely seem to learn anything worth passing on from doing things the right way.)

Instead, I did what many of us do when something might hurt and isn’t urgent: I filed it away under “someday.” That was easy to do at first—because the tooth wasn’t bothering me.

Until it did.

The dull ache showed up first. Then it graduated—slowly, proudly—to a full-blown, pulsing, middle-of-the-night, Tylenol-for-breakfast kind of pain. I started chewing only on the left side.

I built my day around managing discomfort. I pretended it was manageable.

When I finally made it to the endodontist, she glanced at the x-rays and said, “Yeah, no. Not enough root left to save it. That tooth’s on its way out.”

By that time, though, I no longer cared whether the tooth survived the war—as long as I did.  So, I shot back, “Well yank it out, doc!”

Relief felt just moments away.

Then came the plot twist: “I don’t do extractions here.”

Of course you don’t.

So, I limped back to my regular dentist, got the extraction appointment for Wednesday, and—mercifully—the tooth came out. Yes, it was uncomfortable. Yes, my jaw swelled up like a chipmunk storing secrets. But the constant ache? Gone.

And that’s when it hit me: I had no idea how much pain I’d been carrying—until it wasn’t there anymore.

Pain That Disguises Itself

Here’s the wild thing: we get good at carrying pain.

We make room for it. Build routines around it. Excuse it. Dull it. Avoid what might fix it because fixing it sounds hard or awkward or unfamiliar.

Pain—especially the chronic kind—has a sneaky way of blending into the background. It becomes part of your soundtrack. You almost forget it’s playing… until it stops.

And that doesn’t just apply to teeth.

We carry emotional and mental aches the same way: guilt we can’t quite shake. Regret we pretend doesn’t bother us. Grudges we’ve kept on life support for years. Stress we treat like a badge of honor. We learn to chew around those too.

Not Everything Needs Saving

I know “saving” the tooth was the original plan. And in theory, it made sense. Preserve what’s already in place. Make do with what’s there.

But sometimes—whether it’s a tooth, a task, or a toxic relationship—what’s left just isn’t worth preserving.

And I think we need to give ourselves permission to admit that.

Maybe you’ve been trying to rescue something that’s past its usefulness. Maybe you’ve been numbing something that actually needs to be named. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself the pain is “normal” because you’ve carried it so long.

But not everything broken is meant to be saved.  Not every ache should be ignored.  And not every load is yours to carry forever.

What I Know Now

I should’ve gotten that tooth pulled months ago. But I waited—because pain avoidance often manifests itself as procrastination. And maybe that’s true for you too.

So here’s what I’ve learned (and relearned):

• Pain is a signal, not a sentence.
• Avoiding discomfort often prolongs it.
• And healing sometimes means removing—not repairing—what’s causing harm.

If something’s hurting—really hurting—don’t just chew around it. Don’t let it become part of your background noise. You deserve relief. And sometimes, relief starts with action.

It might not get you a sticker. But it just might set you free.

Grace and grit to you! — LK