Grace and Grit: A Simple Tagline with Big Meaning

by Lonnie King

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When I sign off my blog posts with “Grace and grit to you!” it’s more than just a catchy phrase—it’s a reflection of two values that have deeply shaped my life. These words hold significant meaning for me, not just in my writing, but in how I try to live day-to-day.

Grace and grit are the twin pillars that I lean on, and I hope my readers do too. Here’s why.

Grace: More Than a Theological Concept

Grace is a term we hear a lot, particularly in religious circles, but it often feels overused or misunderstood. For years, I leaned on the idea of grace as a theological concept. It was something to be offered freely, as I had been taught, because that’s what the Bible says.

But what I began to see inherent in the ‘doctrine’ of grace, as interpreted by my colleagues and peers, was that the focus of grace was on God’s generosity to offer it to us—not necessarily something to be paid forward.

I was surrounded by people who wanted a gracious response to their words or actions, no matter how thoughtless or insensitive they were. Grace, to them, was to be received, not given.

This realization left me frustrated. I saw that people were quick to demand grace, expecting to be forgiven without taking the time to consider how they might offer grace to others.

It became clear to me that true grace isn’t just about receiving; it’s about extending that same generosity and compassion to those around you, especially when they don’t deserve it.

I realized that grace, at its core, must be a two-way street.

And when I came to this understanding, it influenced me to consider whether my own words or actions were showing empathy or if they were just convenient, one-size-fits-all responses to tough situations—responses that helped no one at all.

The Moment I Realized the Hollow Nature of Platitudes

There was a very brief time in my life when I was an ordained Independent Baptist pastor—a season that now feels like both a distant memory and a painful turning point. During that time, I was tasked with a situation that, at the time, I felt compelled to approach with what I thought was biblical wisdom.

A teenage church member and his girlfriend found themselves facing an unplanned pregnancy, and the expectations were clear: get them married, and make it public for the sake of ‘restoration.’

I vividly remember the weight of the responsibility, the pressure to do the ‘right thing.’ I called a meeting with both families, hoping to help them navigate this difficult moment. But deep down, I knew that forcing two teenagers into marriage—without considering their readiness, compatibility, or the long-term consequences—wasn’t the solution.

I didn’t believe that marriage was a quick fix for their situation. Instead of telling them what I thought they should do, I chose to listen, offer support, and refuse to simply give in to the dogmatic “answers” that seemed to be expected of me.

The real turning point, though, came when the church elders and deacons insisted that I call the young couple to the front of the congregation and publicly demand their confession. They wanted them to stand before everyone, declare their ‘sin,’ and be ‘restored.’

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t subject them to further humiliation when they were already facing enough turmoil. I could see that the real need wasn’t for a public spectacle but for empathy, understanding, and space to navigate their future in a healthier, more supportive way.

It was moments like this that led to a deeper internal shift. I began to question the very foundation of the teachings I had once embraced, realizing that the religious platitudes and dogma I had been taught weren’t always the best answers.

They lacked compassion, they lacked grace, and, above all, they lacked an understanding of what these young people were truly going through.

This experience ultimately became one of the primary reasons I walked away from the ministry and distanced myself from that denomination.

It was a painful but necessary step in my journey to reframe my understanding of grace—not as something to be dictated by rigid rules, but as something that requires empathy and genuine care.

Grit: The Courage to Do What’s Right

While grace is about kindness and compassion, grit is about courage and resilience. It’s about standing firm and doing what’s right, even when the road ahead is unclear and even when others may not understand.

In many ways, the story I shared above also represents the grit required to act in alignment with my values, even when faced with difficult pressures.

When I chose not to enforce the quick marriage and public confession, I was acting from a place of grit—not because it was easy or popular, but because it felt like the right thing to do. It took courage to resist the church’s expectations and stand firm in my belief that the young couple needed grace and space to process, not humiliation or forced marriage.

Grit is about showing up in situations where you’re called to make decisions that will impact others in profound ways. It’s about facing life’s toughest challenges with integrity, without cutting corners or sacrificing what matters most.

In my own experience, the grit wasn’t in following what I was expected to do; it was in resisting the pressure and standing by what I believed was best for the young couple. It was having the courage to go against the grain and choose empathy over tradition.

Grace and Grit: The Balance We All Need

Both grace and grit are vital. Without grace, we risk becoming harsh, unyielding, and disconnected from the human element of our interactions. Without grit, we risk compromising our values and allowing fear or convenience to dictate our choices.

In many ways, my evolving understanding of grace has shaped how I face tough situations now. I no longer rely on quick answers or easy fixes, especially when interacting with others.

I try to put myself in their shoes, to understand what they’re going through, and to respond with empathy rather than offering a one-size-fits-all solution.

In a world that often pressures us to choose between harsh truth and compassion, I believe we need a healthy measure of both grace and grit to navigate life’s toughest moments.  

So…

Grace and grit to you!  — LK